Wednesday, March 31, 2010

maybe not such an innocent fall

now that we've all had a chance to have a good laugh at my expense, it's time for the self-pity to set in. cause it turns out, it wasn't such an innocent fall. daily i am able to blame another ailment of my life on those fateful 2 seconds. (you like the melodrama, right?)

for example on monday i noticed some strange pain the my right arm and shoulder. at first i thought it was the pilates video jade and i have been laboring through (but that's it's own ridiculous image for another day). then i realized my arms are probably the only part of my body that video doesn't work. i guess smashed grapes aren't as effective a fall break as i'd thought.

then worse, yesterday i noticed the below damage to my preciously expensive and indispensable to my job macbook pro:

sure, it seems to be working fine for now, but surely it can't be good. grrr. i think i'll take up a melodramatic subway ad campaign against broken sidewalks. because kids aren't starving in africa or anything.

and as a p.s. can we just take a minute to praise my phone (even though it has inspired jade to call me iNerd). i reached for my hulking D300 camera and realized how absolutely silly it would be to make a 60mb raw file of a cracked computer shell to post on my silly blog. my phone has become my point and shoot. it's a beautiful thing (and yes, maybe i'm a just few years behind the rest of the world).

Monday, March 29, 2010

break your mother's back.

i had a very new york experience yesterday that led me to ruminate on the opossum cpr incident once again and conclude that certainly, pennsylvania may be close, but there is not a chance that would have happened here.

the abovementioned new york experience could also be filed under 'the universe it laughing at me', for only two days prior--before the poor flattened opossum was ever desecrated by a misguided and guilt-wracked drunken man trying to make good and before i ended up in a puddle of smashed grapes (i'm getting around to explaining THAT)--i sat on the subway and chuckled to myself over a very grave ad. not just an ad, but an ad for a cause. the ad's tone was dark and serious, as though addressing the tragedy unfolding in haiti or the hiccups of an unborn and almost aborted fetus. this ad warned against the dangers of a hidden new york city menace. not batman, not crackhouses, not even anarchists protesters, but the evil 'broken sidewalk'.

having just returned from havana, where the locals generally avoid navigating the only sometimes existent 'sidewalks' for fear of being flattened by crumbling 400-year old non-maintained balconies, i balked in a way the universe apparently found most patronizing. it was time to teach me a lesson.

so yesterday, while rounding the corner onto diamond street, laden with a backpack full of electronic equipment, laptop bag containing um, a laptop, shopping bag of the boss's 2009 receipts, as well as a overstuffed bag of what would aspired to be our dinner, i hurriedly shifted the delicately balanced weight of this awkward assemblage of packages in order to fish out my apartment keys without stopping. and just as i so impatiently did, wouldn't you know it, i was attacked by that sneaky bugger of a new york menace.....THE BROKEN SIDEWALK! well, in this case, the universe also threw in a 10 year old workbook sole that's been re-glued one too many times coming undone, and boom! on the ground i went.

it was a big one. even for me. those who know me are aware of my clumsiness, but also that super talent i have for recovering from falls mid-air to the point of fooling people into thinking i was off my rocker, performing some kind of strange ballet. it was one of those slow motion falls, where i had time to recognize there was no stopping it. where i had time to swear in a voice uncannily similar to my mother's. where i had time to really believe i wasn't getting out of this one without broken bones.

but thank god for the grapes. seriously. i cushioned my fall on the bunch of juicy green grapes that lay smashed on the sidewalk, having flown from my grocery bag just as my sunglasses flew off my head to the street.

i lay there on the ground amazed that i truly seemed undamaged. due to the frequency of my falls, i didn't have the standard feeling of embarrassment. mostly i just wish i had tape rolling so my friends could laugh at me.

but what really pissed me off, the true new yorkness of it all, was that not a single person stopped as they passed me by to extend a hand to help, nor to even inquire if i was okay.

so i packed my squashed groceries back in their bag, flipped off all the callous bystanders in my mind and reached for the goddamn keys. maybe if i had been an opossum and the sidewalk had been drunk, i could get some help. not that i needed it, thank you very much. here's hoping i never do!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Man drunk, opossum dead, CPR futile

couldn't help stopping on this headline. sadly, after having murdered at least six opposums in the former days of my mgb, my guilt was so great i could imagine it being about me. and not even with the being drunk part.

Police report attempt to revive flattened opossum

By Jason Kessler, CNN
March 26, 2010 8:52 p.m. EDT

(CNN) -- A Pennsylvania man attempted to resuscitate "a road-killed opossum," state police say.

But this was one possum who wasn't playing possum -- the ugly creature remained dead.

Troopers responding to the scene in Oliver Township on Thursday determined that Donald J. Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, was drunk, according to the police report.

Several witnesses observed Wolfe's failed resurrection of the flattened marsupial, police said. It was not immediately clear how he endeavored to restore the possum's life.

The arresting officer in the incident was unavailable for comment Friday. Attempts to reach Wolfe were also unsuccessful.

Wolfe will be charged with one charge of public drunkenness, police said. couldn't help stopping on this headline. sadly, after having murdered at least six opposums in the former days of my mgb, my guilt was so great i could imagine it being about me. and not even with the being drunk part.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

cuba by iphone

the man who lived downstairs from my 'casa' begged me to tell people in america that cuba wasn't all that bad. 'no one has killed you yet, right?' he asked in spanish. good point.
so here i am, safe in new york.
a few of my favorite snapshots of my trip...courtesy of the iphone...
and that's what little boys are made of...

te quiero


bicitaxi lot

yumi at the bodeguita

Sunday, March 21, 2010

happy anniversary

i don't have email access from cuba. nor phone. so i can't tell jade how much i love him and how i'm thinking of him every minute that i'm down there in cuba, thinking of how we held hands in these streets a year ago exactly. email him and tell him what you think i think of him, since i can't. i miss you and i just want to kiss you...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

29 marzo: che

remember to click on the photo for detail...
last night in cuba...

Sunday, March 7, 2010

the hidden dangers of recycling

the above image is a representation of a can that jade and i open every morning for our cheap pot of coffee brewed french press--to fancy it up.

HOWEVER, the above image is also a representation of the container we use about once every other week to transport powdery detergent to the laundromat.

you sharp ones may see where i'm going with this post.

well, last night was a typical multi-tasking spree of making dinner, working on my laptop and washing a pick up bed's worth of nasty clothes that had been, for unknown reasons (actually, i know very well the reason, and it has something to do with my boss's habit of throwing anything in his hands in his pick up bed as he gets in the truck and leaving it there....for months), rotting under a nasty web of autumn leaves, rusted out boat engines, broken bikes found on the curb, rain and snow. I gathered this soppy mass into the laundry machine, ratcheted it up to HOT, fed in my 19 quarters (really, doesn't this seem excessive?!) and dumped probably four times the amount of detergent a normally dirty load of clothing should require, doubting even this would strip the smell that could only be described as foul from the load.

only the detergent wasn't white. it was brown. and suddenly the clean, fresh smell of the laundromat was replaced with the distinct smell of starbucks.

of course. i had grabbed the actual coffee grounds. not detergent. coffee does not clean clothes. or maybe it helped? don't they give you coffee beans to sniff between smelling perfumes to clear out the last aromas?

i looked sheepishly around to find four sets of polish eyes laughing at me. sometimes recycling can be dangerous...

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

art basel miami beach hooverville

you must click on image above for more detail!
the brilliant behemoth that jade townsend and william powhida have been working on... 60x44 inches!

Monday, March 1, 2010

27 marzo 2009: policia especializada

approaching strangers to request permission to photograph them? difficult. cops? even harder. cop in communist country? even harder. such is the power of lust...