Friday, November 4, 2011

you miss spackleshot? how about some ranting?!

i miss blogging.  i miss the pre-facebook world when i read people's blogs and they read mine.  i'm not saying it was better.  i think it's terrific that everyone participates in the micro-blogging of facebbook.  i just miss it.

so i resist the urge to post the following rant to facebook and instead will post it here (this post will automatically post there anyway--not than anyone even clicks away from facebook to read a blogpost anymore...).  even though it is absolutely as exhibitionistly public as can be, somehow it seems more...privately mine.

so here i wind up.

dear man in line behind me at the bodega,

can you please explain to me what exactly you hope to accomplish by arguing with me "last word in" style that chicken stock tastes better than vegetable stock?  are you really all that concerned that i'm missing some nuanced flavor difference?  did i even ask you?  did i, a voluntary vegetarian of 23 years, seem like i was wavering and you thought you'd put your two cents in to help me with this tough decision?

this is a really stupid thing to rant about.  it just gets so exhausting to talk about it EVERY DAY.  


and while i've got the petty gloves on, let me address another daily conundrum that seems to be of utmost importance in these trivial, nothing-to-talk-about times.  if i didn't have lady parts, would you feel the need to ask me WHY i buzz my hair?  think of how ludicrous it would seem if a man had to answer that question 10 times a day, or if a woman had to explain her bob or ponytail...  

and by the way, man in line behind me at the bodega--i double dog dare you to make a butternut squash soup that tastes better than mine.  

4 comments:

JayJohnson said...

I've always felt that chicken stock completely ruins butternut squash soup. Just sayin'...

Allison Hester said...

Next time someone offers their 2 cent opinions just spout some super crazy stuff at them. For example:

"I buzzed my hair so that the demons can get into my brains faster"

or

"Chicken broth tastes too much like human meat and I don't ever want to be reminded of that day...EVER*"

*this last EVER should be whispered slowly while leaning in with intense, unblinking eye contact...and maybe conjure up a tear or two...

kitty joe said...

jay, you are totally right. i remember one thanksgiving, a kind friend who hosted me made a separate butternut squash soup for me with veggie stock instead of chicken. everyone agreed that mine tasted better and my friend wondered why he bothered making two batches....

allison--you are brilliant. i'm going to use your method. and will report back to you!

abbie said...

Being your only carniverous sister, coupled with some sort of pre-jovie, Penecostle fear of hair cutting; I will never likely find myself with the opportunity, to bust out allison's gem of a retort, so PLEASE share when you do (but who knows..."a drip is a drop, a drop is water, water is beautiful, so thanks for the compliment!")