Tuesday, October 2, 2007

how not to impress your boss: tips #48-51


a random sampling courtesy of one loony butler.

#48
set the fork on the right, knife on the left. continue to do this even after three times being corrected. glare at boss remainder of day.

#49
next time you see boss, before even greeting her, launch immediately into 'conversation' about life aspirations, in spanish. don't bother asking if lily white boss speaks spanish, studied spanish, knows the word for graphic designer en espanol, nor if she cares about your aspirations when she has a room of 300 to set in half hour's time. (let me step out for a moment to explain, dear people, that this is not me being unsympathetic to a language barrier. understand that 'loony butler' in question speaks perfect english, without any accent whatsoever.)

#50
follow up, at least this time in english, asking, "you live in williamsburg, right? i've seen you in the neighborhood." when your puzzled boss who doesn't know you at all asks if you are her neighbor, reply, "no, but i want to be".

#51
now that boss realizes she should just avoid any chance of conversation or eye contact with you, save from firing generic orders like, "please pop and drape the hi-tops on the portico", run behind her quick stride, questioning, "what does it mean?" when she rewords the request, "um, please build the tall cocktail tables on the balcony and place linen on them", confuse and creep her out by insisting, "no, i mean your tatoo!"

5 comments:

Bibi said...

Hahahaha, sounds like you had a fun event last night ;-)

Amy said...

Hmmm, sounds like someone has a crush on you! Cute photo. Do you keep silverware in Tupperware because of bedbugs? Like the Turkish/English combo. :) Sister Christian

kitty8joe said...

actually, it's thai and english. i took this slide almost four years ago in lampang, thailand. i thought the labeling "the forks" and "the spoons" was cute.

in turkey they use the same latin alphabet as we do, just minus some consonants and plus some extra vowels.

and thankfully, the bedbugs don't care about our silverware!

peakie said...

I work with some people who pull the same shit, but speak fluent English. I'm sorry you have to deal with this too.

babs said...

am sure it wasn't funny at the time, but i can't stop laughing! i can't wait for tips number 52+