photo still courtesy of a movie i have no business watching....
apparently my imagination hasn't progressed beyond the age of 6, when your parents have to ban you from watching scooby doo because you're having nightmares about masked crooks. oh, but that couldn't have been me because i wasn't allowed to watch cartoons anyway. maybe that's my problem. didn't get the scary stuff out of the way at an early age. as a result, i can't even watch a parady of a horror movie without being plagued by night terrors.
this is something i am very aware of. i have really scary dreams on my own, without the help of hollywood effects, thank you. it started with the re-occuring nightmare from age 5-18 featuring a kidnapper chopping me up into tidy chunks and feeding my parts into a blender. i could feel it all. it continued on to seeing my death 99 different ways from the golden gate bridge.
i know to stay away from the gore and spooky stuff. every now and then i can't resist, and the nightmares are worth it: lost, the blair witch project. both terrifying and nightmare inducing. both worth it.
zombieland: not worth it.
every now and then, usually when i have a new boyfriend, i push myself beyond my known comfort levels, just wanting to be easy-going, figuring at 34 years old i can handle some fake blood. especially when it's over the top and mocking. this is untrue and unwise.
case in point: last night we made our second attempt at watching the aforementioned 'zombieland'. we'd first tried it on christmas eve. i'd come straight from a 100 hour work week, followed by 24 hours of traveling from the middle east, directly into the kitchen to bake christmas gifts, pack and be at the airport at 5am the next day.
within 30 seconds of gut munching i vetoed. 'nope, this is not what i want to watch on christmas!'
blame it on christmas. but it was true! it was super depressing and i was a wreck already.
so last night we tried again. i made it about 4 minutes in. my fork full of rice and tofu hovered somewhere between the bowl and my contorted face. i literally couldn't find a window of time long enough to chew a bite without simultaneously watching zombies chewing on bloody flesh.
jade graciously turned it off in favor of family guy. much more appetizing. (hah!)
and sure enough, four minutes of zombieland brought the most heinous night of dreams. when jade finally woke me up at 6, i was grateful, having been finally confronting the ghosts that inhabited the place i was housesitting, busted in on nightly by some freaky looking red-eyed ladies...
so, i'm sorry, but that's enough horror and gore for 2010 already! can somebody cue up an episode of barney for me?