Friday, June 25, 2010

tips for starving artists #3: DON'T think you're clever when it comes to parking in new york city. you WILL be towed.

apparently the cops here aren't big on logic and leniency, so perhaps i should have gone with that whole 'shadow of a doubt' rule of thumb. but it was late. i'd worked ten hours AND watched an emotionally exhausting usa world cup game. and do you know how frustrating, ye out of towners, it is to circle the same block 22 times looking for a spot, hoping that some brooklynite might decide to leave the house at 11pm, hence clearing a spot for me and the boss's truck? the answer is very. extremely. hair-pulling-outingly frustrating.

on lap 23 i finally succumbed to the the wild yet very logical seeming temptation of parking at the newly defunct bus stop. of course i know you can't park in a bus stop. $115 ticket and a guaranteed tow. but this particular bus route has recently fallen prey to mta budget cuts, hence the sign on the damn sign that reads: THIS LOCATION IS NO LONGER A BUS STOP. THIS SIGN WILL BE REMOVED SHORTLY. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

so no bus. no reason not to park there, right? totally and perfectly logical. and yet, in this overly competitive parking climate, still the defunct bus stop yielded three gorgeous empty parking spots. i totally knew i was in the right. but why in new york city should i trust that logic and kindness would trump the blind ecstasy of a cop and a tow guy finding a truck in a bus stop?

in short, the damn truck was towed. verified from a good morning text from the boss, the following am. in short, my day was ruined. wouldn't it be a nice idea to place the tow pound at least a couple of miles from a subway stop? i mean, it's pretty difficult in this city to find a location that is MILES from a subway stop. but the fine folks at NYPD managed to find it. i left the house in the sourest mood, eschewing jade's offer of a meal. must punish stupid self! and be cranky! trekked through the blazing heinous sun (no, summer is not really on my good side right now) to the pound. and why, might i ask, does all of new york city have to be completely torn up with massive, big loud machine construction?!

at the tow pound i signed away the rights to my first born child and did a big tap dance that included tears to win the right to pay for and pick up a towed truck that was not registered to me. miraculously, it worked. you better believe i'll be photographing that sign and fighting these fines. but in the meantime, i can't really recommend dipping into the upcoming rent scrapings for such a brilliant endeavor. take heed, poor and creative parkers!


Ed said...

The unending cruelty assigned to parking and its associated revenue-generating fines and fees: totally not surprising. Surprising: you watched sports on TV?!
Anyway, major injustice on the tow. Without any indication of a no parking zone (and a sign to suggest the opposite), damn straight you should fight this one.

Anonymous said...

HA! at least you screwed them over on that 1st born promise. So sorry to hear about it. Fight it !!!!

kitty joe said...

i'll have you know, eddie, that i even watched the LAST world cup! in bars. and this one mostly on the internet. aren't i always full of surprises?