according to a friend of emre's, all we need around here is a couple of chickens to eat up all the bugs. and i ask myself. why the hell did i not think of this first? i could have grabbed this guy from the trash can in goreme, turkey. silly me.
i'm positive no one would call the cops on us, nor would the chickens make any mess of their own, nor wake us up at 5am like the bedbugs do. brilliant plan. let's do it.
and now, a couple more musings on bedbugs. because i just can't stop.
hi suzie! thanks for the link to the mosquito net like body tent!
unfortunately it has to just suffice for humor because (sorry, family, i just can't contain the language--i've earned enough goody-two-shoes points in the past--right?!) these little fuckers say, "fabric--pshaww--i'll just squeeze my little appleseed-like body right through that and SUCK YOUR BLOOD."
the chrysanthimum touch is cute too. i tried everything herbal. i even doused the bed every night with a solution of thyme oil (expensive stuff) and witch hazel, but nada help. it's amazing how when you face something like this, all of your mellow environmental side flies right out the window. bedbugs are on the rise because of the erradication of ddt? ddt's not so bad--i love that stuff! can i bathe in it? wash my hair in it? spray down my whole apartment building with it?
and now, just to shake me and say, snap out of it! stop feeling sorry for yourself! an email from a friend who shall remain anonymous (clearly someone with more class than myself). this blows me right out of the water and momentarily makes me feel better before the paranoid side of me says, oh god, please don't let that happen to me:
"As for the bedbugs - seriously, I have been there but I had bedbugs, then crabs, then scabbies. Jealous?? I had to literally empty my apartment of everything. I went to the housing works for furniture and clothes and then the Salvation Army for new clothes. I still shop there."
except now i'm too paranoid to frequent my old friend the salvation army.
8 comments:
Well, perhaps I can order some badass chickens from Turkey.
I like the chickens idea. Or, perhaps you could train Prussia? Does she still gag when she sees ants?
i keep trying to sic prussia on those bugs but she gets so faint around the sight of blood! she's really not earning her keep around here. anyone want a one-eyed calico?
You might be able to find DDT still being sold in a developing country somewhere. Just be sure to dilute it, because after all, it's the dose that makes the poison! (;
I've got another idea: get some sediments from the Hudson River (since they are thought to be contaminated with ddt) and sprinkle that around your apartment.
I'm going to shut up now before I get even more ridiculous ideas.
you know, there was an epidemic of scabies in Santa Cruz amongst the indie rocker community about 11 years ago....but I digress.
i like the chicken idea. perhaps you could make a coup and have a little chicken farm? sounds like a solution that might be profitable too? Kitty's Organic Chicken...Apartment?
let me guess, did that epidemic start in rex's dreads?
I would NEVER shop at a thrift store again, you could get them there, no sense taking chances! I'm itching ALL OVER!!! Thanks. SC
You could have borrowed Fang, our chicken (stuffed her in your suitcase?), except that she just died. My mom didn't even have a proper burial for her, but dumped her unceremonialy into the garbage. Can you believe it? After all she went through at my aunt's house, surviving several racoon attacks and watching her siblings get eaten, coming to our house in exile, and all she gets is a garbage can! Still, she had a pretty good life, for a chicken.
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