so long, farewell

yesterday as i cleaned the kitchen i knocked into something which of course knocked into something else which of course knocked the very last of my set of beautiful and beloved candy cane tumblers from the dish strainer to the floor. the glass was suspended in air long enough for me to take stock of its value and panic, but not long enough (nor would i be lucky or dexterous enough) to catch. while my clumsiness has schooled me very well in the art of catching myself, i haven't yet worked out the object-recovery side of things.

as i stood surveying the lovely, vivid red shards of glass i lamented the final of the four of this set broken one by one. this was the first one i actually finished off myself (breakage of the other three was handled by a couple of turkish men in my life, both going by the name of fish, ahem).

so why did i pull out the camera? why am i telling you about a broken glass? because i'm superstitious. i could not keep myself from infusing the situation with significance.

the reason these tumblers were so beloved is that they were fancy with a capital F. they were nicer than anything i'd ever buy. they were a gift from a former dear friend of mine who has impeccable taste and always gave me ridiculously beautiful and thoughtful things. these glasses he brought to my annual christmas tree trimming party three or four years ago. said friend and i were co-workers for a solid decade! we were peers for eight or nine of those years, and then, in the end he was promoted. i mention this promotion not because i coveted it. indeed, by that time i was moving in the other direction, becoming serious about removing myself from the comfort and stability of that job that nonetheless sucked me in and consumed the pursuit of all other goals.

no, i did not envy his promotion, yet it clearly changed a power dynamic between us. he stopped making it to all of my events he'd formerly never missed, and the invitations to his suddenly went to those with an eye more trained on our mutual work. our friendship had formerly been about laughing and poking fun at our jobs, and now that i was moving on, i seemed to become invisible.

i didn't get angry. i didn't get sad or mad. i merely chalked it up to life changes. he was too busy now at work to connect. i felt like i understood. but then....but then as i took a season off to do an internship and when i say "off" i'm talking about a FREELANCE job. naturally i hoped that the jobs i was finding in the art world would pan out and i could ween myself off of my old job. but that old job (catering) was a safety net. its foundation is flexibility. you come and go, and it's nice to know that it's there. in new york city, that's what it's used for. it's not about commitment!

unfortunately, the company i busted my butt for in so many different management capacities, helping out in so many different scrapes, became so corporate that they decided they needed to weed people out who weren't 'commited'. this from the number one new york city source for temp work. and although i'd talked to said friend and his boss about even the possibility of coming back after graduation to accept a full time position to aid in paying off my school debts....so i'm going on too long about this, i realize, as you can tell, it's an emotional subject. the point is not that i got a letter in the mail from the company telling me i'd been removed from 'the system' and would need to reapply if i'd like to work for them again--essentially, "you're fired". the point is not that i didn't even want to come back. but to bring it back to the glass...the point is: that letter was signed by said decade long friend, without so much as a warning phone call or a follow up to say, "hey, this corporate bullshit is necessary, just wanted to give you a heads up because you're my friend."

and while i really didn't want to turn this entry into a rant or a pity party, clearly i couldn't avoid it. i stood over those shards of broken red glass and thought, well kitty joe, this glass is telling you this friendship is over. let go.

you say filler--i say, um....filler.

how is it that weeks can just sneak up on you? you breathe a sigh of relief that the storm is over and do something totally crazy like go out to new jersey and eat and watch a lot of tv and then BOOM, you come back and life is mayhem! this week wasn't supposed to be crazy, but it is. i'm feeling very obstinate about the unexpectedness of this.
anyhoo, don't want that to stop me from posting, lest i lose my 3 readers who have re-engaged with spackleshot of late.
and now, to further celebrate my reality friend, eddie's birthday in the cyber world, here he is modeling his birthday present from emre and i. most dapper.
i got all sentimental in eddie's birthday card as my sister recently sent me a pack of letters, included in which was a 10 pager from eddie circa our first year in college (as opposed to the 7th year in college i'm working on). ah, the dramatic declarative statements of high school-era friendship, "if i don't see you when i come home for christmas i'll DIE!"

sebastopudlians in new york unite!

how brad came back into my life is one of those "it's a small world afterall" stories. one day in the middle of interviewing candidates for butler positions at the catering company where i work, i came upon a nice boy whose resume listed summer work experience at a restaurant in bodega bay. being that i grew up 10 miles from the aforementioned coastal lovely-ville, my curiosity was piqued.
"you worked in bodega bay....where are you from?"
"california"
where?
"northern california"
where?
"sonoma county"
where?
"sebastopol" (my hometown!!)

holy shit! you are young! you were probably the little brother of someone i grew up with! and looking down at his name i realized indeed, that he was my elementary school buddy's little brother. oh, how many days jenny and i spent playing with cabbage patch kids, making shrinky-dinks and swinging on bars till my hands were blistered as toddler brad and his pudgy brother kevin 'pestered' us! as these wonderful memories scrolled movie-like through my head i suddenly remembered hearing the news that my long lost friend (junior high brought strife between us--the usual popularity wars) had tragically passed away a couple years ago. figuring i never would have seen her again anyway, and having lost touch with her family, i'd felt awkward about what to do with the grief i felt. but this moment felt perfectly destined and natural. up i was, hugging brad as though he were still that little boy, "i'm so sorry about your sister--she was a dear friend of mine!"
both of us were crying at this point, hugging, while my co-workers and boss looked on in confusion.



the back of this photo is labeled "jenny, kitty, katie amber and fredrica fernanda--june '84". the latter two names, of course, belonged to my cabbage patch kids.

the crazy thing is i had to beg my boss to hire brad because he had the audacity to show up to the interview wearing jeans. i mean, this is serious business, this serving of food! if you wear jeans, who is to know how you'll look in a cheap polyester tuxedo?! if someone else had interviewed him he never would have been hired and i never would have known that he'd moved to new york, lived just down the street from me in my very neighborhood, and come to interview.
of course i promised to introduce him to the big city and be his surrogate sister and show him all around. this process has been slower than i'd hoped, considering i'm really a selfish busy busy busy bee with barely enough time to wave hello to my boyfriend every so often. we have, nonetheless, managed to hang out a bit and it turns out to be so much fun. i feel like we have even more in common than just hailing from sebastopol. and now that i know brad is experiencing even more family loss, my heart goes out to him... the top photo was taken on the subway as brad, mieke and i headed to see the arcade fire way uptown at an old vaudeville theatre and poses the question, 'is there something in the sebastopol water that grows enormous dimples?' looking at my sister amy, you might be swayed to believe it's true!

the arcade fire rocking us all by letting hundreds of people storm the stage....
photos courtesy of mieke

happy belated birthday to mieke

sunday night we celebrated mieke's birthday at her place with the usual loads of great food and chocolate-mocha birthday cake. mieke is a beautiful and inspirational friend who moved to new york via turkey and her native belgium three years ago, studied hard to be certified in the u.s. as a physical therapist, and now resides in a beautiful apartment in williamsburg, brooklyn.


mieke always makes time in her life for exercise and outdoor fun, which is more than i can say for myself! who else says, "hey, let's ride our bikes down to red hook!", then forces me to ride her new 'luxury cadillac' bike home while she bumps along in my 'pinto'? having her for a neighbor has felt blissfully hometown--even when we're both super busy, we manage to meet up even if just to ride the train home together. this has also made it possible for me to force her into henna and haircutting servitude (which reminds me, mieke, my roots are showing!).
mieke and i first met at my annual christmas tree decorating party, and since then, she has shared entertaining duties with me, as we both love to throw parties--sometimes for sixty, sometimes just for the two of us. she's even humored me with costuming sprees, letting me outfit her even when it's not halloween. in return, i outfitted her with her honey, ezra, a similarly sweet and positive spirit who keeps her company when i can't, because with my schedule, let's face it, i ain't the greatest friend! finally, mieke makes me feel like a belgian rock star, by mentioned me often on her blog, which is written entirely in flemish. sneaky mieke. don't think i don't know what "Kitty, drank aangesleept door onze genodigden, mijn mooi parket bleek een uitstekende dansvloer te zijn" means!


i gave mieke a print of this photograph i took of the abandonned domino sugar factory, which sits a block from mieke's doorstep. it is the typical landscape of our post-industrial hipster neighborhood. probably soon to gutted and converted into luxury condominiums.....