Tuesday, November 18, 2008

ah, the joys of long term love

when labels are being passed out, you may choose to call me a commitment-phobe, considering i've expressed that marriage is not my personal calling and having kids does not interest me. however, you would be wrong. i've spent a startling short portion of my adult life single. more accurately, i have been called a serial monogamist. this means i've followed one long term relationship with another and another. this is not what i've consciously looked for. in fact, i quite enjoyed being single. but what can i say, i'm a libra. i fall in love. and i stay.

this has give me the unique opportunity of being observed very closely in that way that only someone who has woken up beside you for many many years can feel comfortable expressing. generally, from the outside, these observations seem rude. perhaps sometimes they are. like micha, who told me that my spine resembled that of a greyhound, or nicknamed me 'huge' to counter his 5'6" napolean complex.

but mostly i think they are just born out of pure, boring, in depth and involuntary research. and often they make me laugh.

last night emre told me that i swallow 'wrong'.

me: wrong? how do i swallow wrong?

e: well, it's mostly when you're drinking soda or beer. i've noticed this with girls since i was a little boy. they don't know how to swallow soda or beer in the correct way.

me: wait, you've been noticing the way girls swallow beer since you were a little boy. who were these beer swilling turkish little girls?!

usually emre can recognize when he's totally cracking me up to the point that i feel the need to share it with the internet. but not last night. dead serious. which made it all the funnier as this conversation stretched on for fifteen minutes.

and now i can't swallow without listening for my lack of finesse as pointed out by my correct-swallowing boyfriend.


Amy said...

I haven't noticed this in you or girls in general, I'll have to pay more attention. And thanks for the 'Emre comment fix', I love these! :)

kim said...

I would love a demonstration of this "correct swallowing"!!Ahhh, I remember the greyhound comment. And, I also remember him finding you later in life and apologizing for being such a jerk!

Xaver said...

you blink wrong, too

Anonymous said...

i always think about that when you are drinking beer...all those times that you are drinking beer i am always totally thinking that.

Anonymous said...

I'm looking forward to a proper demo over the holidays.

kitty8joe said...

okay, tristan, you got me on the inauthenticity charge! no, i don't drink beer. but i do drink what we call in this household, 'bitch beer', which includes cider or smirnoff ice...

demonstration may not be possible, as i was unable to pinpoint the 'wrongness' of my swallow and therefore continue afflicting emre with this malady.

imerika said...

aahh yes, being closely observed.
its not just girls -- O swallows wrong as well, has for years. he also extracts the essence of food the same way one would aspirate through a fine wine.