Saturday, November 29, 2008

greetings ms. seagull

a couple weeks ago i called the boss on my way into the studio. often times when i show up he'll be groggily wrestling with his first cup of coffee. but this time his voice was super gravelly, "i'm hungover. and there's a seagull with a broken wing living in my bathtub."

all in a day's work, i tell you. the only thing that surprised me about that statement, was the fact that i wasn't the least bit surprised. perhaps those of you who know about the adventures of mr. squirrel aren't surprised either. oh wait, more squirrel. um, and more squirrel.
let's just say the boss has a weakness for wounded animals. regardless of their historic compatibility in the human environment.

so, yeah, i guess my experience with mr. squirrel primed me to a certain extent for facing a wounded seagull in a domestic situation. but a seagull? i said to myself, not so cute.

but i was kind of wrong. granted, the seagull wasn't quite as cuddly as mr. squirrel and my god, is that enormous quantity of putrid smelling shit really necessary?! all. over. the studio.
yet, as i held the seagulls beak closed (so it wouldn't maim the boss), as the boss futily tried to stabilized its broken wing, i felt a huge connection and compassion for this creature whose nervous gulps i felt on my fingers.

i called her esther. she followed me around the studio for a couple of days--her webbed feet and off-balance gait making adorable sounds on the wood floor. i also really enjoyed donning rubber gloves and throwing sardines at her. it was like i was working at the zoo. but alas, she really wasn't meant to be an apartment dwelling seagull. sadly, her wing had long since reset itself in the broken position. it was clear she wouldn't fly again. so the boss did the obvious. he brought her to a party at a ship in the gowanus canal, where she was embraced as a mascot by the lesbians living on board. i only regret that i didn't get any photos of her total studio domination...

with perfect timing, emre sent me this video which you may have all seen. i particularly love this version though, scottish accents and all....

3 comments:

Amy said...

I wish you got pics of Esther, she sounds so cute!

Anonymous said...

hysterical!

kim said...

Yeah, I want a picture too. Is she saying: Mine. Mine. Mine. all the time?